Friday the 13th:Crystal Lake Chaos
by Scissorman13
Summary: A humor series based off of the 8-bit NES video game of the same name. Six camp counselors must defend the children of Camp Crystal Lake against Jason Voorhees. You need to have played the game to understand most of the humor.


Friday the 13th:Crystal Lake Chaos  
  
Introduction:Enter the Legend  
  
Opening notes:  
  
This little tidbit of joy is actually based on the old Nintendo Entertainment System Friday the 13th video game. The one where you have the six camp counselors and you have to defend yourself and 15 kids from Jason Voorhees. The game was actually rather challenging for those who had patience, and something fun to laugh at. I'm also writing this because I am a HUGE Jason fan. Anyways, this story involves the same six camp counselors (Mark, Paul, George, Crissy, Debbie, and Laura) and their struggle to stay alive against Jason Voorhees. So please enjoy my humorous take on a game that many found excruciating.  
  
REMEMBER: To get most of the humor in this story, you have to have played the game and seen most of the movies.  
  
*Camp Crystal Lake had just re-opened again for another summer of NON-VIOLENT fun. Like that was ever going to happen. Lurking around the woods surrounding Crystal Lake was a legendary homicidal maniac. One who could pop up anywhere at anytime, and was always carrying a random weapon. But the counselors believed that he had been put to rest a long time ago, some even think he never existed. What these six unsuspecting couselors are about to learn will change their lives forever. That is.....if they live.*  
  
*Mark was introducing a small group of kids to Camp Crystal Lake in a cabin that was oddly farther away from all the other cabins in the camp. Being as energetic as Richard Simmons (even almost LOOKING like him), he was going over the camp rules.*  
  
Mark-HI KIDS! Welcome to Camp Crystal Lake! My name is Mark, and I will be your camp counselor today! I will teach you about camp rules, history, and introduce you to the beauty that is Crystal Lake!  
  
*The children look around the cabin, trying to ignore the nearly faded blood stains on the walls and floor.*  
  
Mark-And if your lucky, I will even teach you to JUMP like me!!  
  
*Mark does an inhuman leap into the air, almost hitting the roof.*  
  
Mark-WEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!  
  
*The kids show a mixture of surprised and puzzled looks. Mark lands and laughs.*  
  
Mark-Some of you may be wondering about that supposed "serial killer" who has been rumored to be roaming around Crystal Lake. Don't worry about that! It's just a local legend to scare the BEJESUS out of you! Even if he is real, he's been dead for years!  
  
*Some of the children still show looks of fright on their faces. It's either because hearing about Jason scares the BEJESUS out of them, or that the doorknob was mysteriously moving on it's own.*  
  
Mark-Alright! Who wants to go for a hike?  
  
*Suddenly, the door flies open and off it's hinges. It bounces off the floor and nails one of the kids square in the head, killing him. Everyone's attention suddenly moves towards the door, where a large, shadowy figure stands holding a blade weapon.*  
  
Mark-Oh no! It's the scourge of Camp Crystal Lake! The master of everything that is death! The homicidal master......  
  
*That mysterious smoke that's in every horror movie finally clears, revealing the ultimate slasher.*  
  
*DEE DEE DEE DEE*  
  
Note:That's the short tune it plays when Jason appears in the NES game.  
  
Mark-JASON™!!!!!  
  
*Jason's presence seems ominous in this room as he views all of his potential victims, and wonders why his name is trademarked. The kids cower in fear, and Mark wets himself.*  
  
**This is it??**  
  
Note:All of Jason's "thoughts" will be displayed in double asteriks  
  
*Jason scratches his head and shrugs.*  
  
**Oh well, a kill's a kill..**  
  
*Jason draws his machete and approaches the children and Mark. He takes one big swing, but Mark leaps over Jason's head and he takes out on of the kids behind him, taking his head clean off.*  
  
Mark-HEY! Don't hurt the kids! We only have fifteen of them this summer!!  
  
**Oh, I'm so sorry..**  
  
*Jason looks at the other two kids in the room with a twinkle in his eye. He takes out his third victim by impaling through the stomach and flinging him off. He eyes his fourth and does four swings, cutting off all arms and legs, then one final back swing, taking his head off.*  
  
**My momma always said I was creative...**  
  
*Jason turns his head and spots Mark on the other side of the cabin.*  
  
**One more..**  
  
Mark-EEP!  
  
*Jason slowly struts his way over to Mark, readying his machete for his next kill.*  
  
Mark-Haha! Not so fast Mister undead psycho killer! You have given me no choice but to....  
  
*Mark prepares, then darts in the opposite direction.*  
  
Mark-RUN AWAY!!  
  
*Mark then uses his super-jumping ability and flies through the roof.*  
  
Mark-WEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  
  
*Jason looks up through the hole in the ceiling and see's that Mark is already miles in the air.*  
  
Mark-You will never defeat us counselors, Jason! WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!  
  
*Jason, being as confused as the next person, watches the idiot fly off.*  
  
**Uhhhh, alright. That was new...**  
  
*And so the newest Crystal Lake slaughter begins. It is now up to six strangely powered camp counselors to defend and survive against the legendary homicidal slasher.*  
  
KILL COUNT THUS FAR: 4  
  
Kid #1-Door  
  
Kid #2-Decapitation  
  
Kid #3-Impaled  
  
Kid #4-Removal of all appendages, ending in decapitation  
  
**NEXT CHAPTER:Jason hunts down the next camp counselor, George. New kill, new ways to die.** 


End file.
